I Spy!

Have you ever been in a situation were you've felt you were being followed? Or, maybe felt that you are in the middle of something fishy? Taking it further forward, have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation, that you would have liked to wriggle free from? If your answer was 'yes' to any one or more of the above questions, then this blog is for you.

Given the troubled times we live in, sooner or later we'll all find ourselves one day in hot water, either unintentionally or otherwise(God, I hope not!). If that is the case, you might find the gyan in this blog come to your rescue at the time. (You can thank me by posting a comment. :) )

Well, you might be wondering how I might help you in the above described circumstances. This is where my vast collection of Perry Mason novels comes in handy(55+ and counting). Perry Mason, for the uninitiated, is one of the most popular fictional mystery novel charaters of all time. Written by Erle Stanley Gardener, Mason is a defense attorney, who practices his trade in Los Angeles. Along with his utterly loyal secretary Della Street, and trusted sidekick, detective Paul Drake, Mason solves the most intriguing and mystifying of murder cases, most of them culminating in the courtroom. Gardner, it is said, had more than 135 million copies of his books in print in America alone, in the year of his death (1969).

Given my penchant for Mason novels, I tend to follow his adventures religiously. For regular readers of the Mason cases, the fact that he wriggles out of the most difficult of situatuons in the most ingenious, yet simplest of ways would come as no surprise. Over the years, as I've devoured more and more of Perry Mason, I've come to realize that most of his methods are actually very relevant and practical in our everyday lives. These methods are born out of pure common sense, and can be applied by all and sundry to keep themselves on the lookout at all times.

For example:

Situation 1: You are being followed. How do you lose the tail?

Answer : Get to the most crowded alley you know nearest to you, like a shopping plaze or a marketplace. If there's a bus stand or a metro station/subway nearby, its even better. Do not let the tail know you're on to him. Tailing a person in a crowd is a helluva lot harder than when you're all on your own.

Situation 2: How do you determine that you're being followed, in the first place?

Answer : Public transport. When you board/disembark a bus or a train, do it unexpectedly. For instance, leave a metro train just as it's doors are about to close. If anyone's following you (god forbid), he'll be caught off-guard and try to catch up with you, by jumping off the train himself, thus exposing his intent.

Situation 3: You're registered in a hotel room in an unknown city. You have a feeling you're room has been searched, your personal effects gone through, while you were away. How do you confirm your suspicions?

Answer : The human hair. Place a single hair in the keyhole of your hotel room's door, or in a recess on the door. If somebody has been nosing around in your room without your permission, the hair will not be in its place when you return. What you do after that is entirely upto you.

Situaton 4: You're being challenged by an officious looking person as to your purpose.

Answer : Most of us, at one time or the other, have been caught red-handed doing something we shouldn't be doing, or just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. How do you get out of this? Remember the Vivek joke in Minnale, where he gets caught for speeding by a traffic policeman and claims he knows the IG of police? It might have led to an hilarious end in reel life, but, in the real world it might actually work. Whenever you're challenged by authority, lay claim to a higher authority. It may just save your neck.

Makes you feel like a spy, doesn't it, reading all this? Well, you'll find that these methods may come to your rescue one day. The most important thing to remember when you're in trouble is to maintain a cool head and rely on your common sense(something Perry Mason has in abundance).

I am not writing this blog intending people to get into trouble. On the contrary, I am writing the blog to help people keep out of it. Remember, the best way to get out of trouble is to stay out of it.

Here's hoping nobody ever gets a chance to use any of these methods...

Stay safe. Be happy!

PS. Caution Advisory: Some of the above described methods might lead to dangerous consequences. Follow them at your own risk.