Gulliver’s travels, a popular
classic of English literature written by Jonathan Swift in the year 1726, is a
tale that describes the adventures of Lemuel Gulliver as he voyages across
uncharted waters to arrive at the island of Lilliput. Upon being washed ashore,
he finds himself taken prisoner by the inhabitants of the island – none of whom
are over 6 inches in height. What follows is a comical series of events that
chronicles the troubles that Gulliver is made to endure as he desperately tries
to convince Lilliputians of his noble intentions, before eventually turning out
to become its knight in shining armour.
There is one common thread that
ties this unlikely book-hero to me – we are both considered to be ‘taller’ than
average by our respective audiences. While
that may be an understatement in the case of Gulliver (at 6’, he was 12 times
taller than the tallest person in Lilliput), and an exaggeration in mine (I’m merely
6’4” tall, but I live in India where the average height of its citizens is a
more humane 5’3”), it is nevertheless, a point that stands. I find this
singularity especially telling juxtaposed against the context of the book, as
some of Gulliver’s hassles living life in Lilliput reminded me of some of my
own living in India – so much so, that I felt sufficiently piqued to chronicle
my travails in being, well, not very unlike Gulliver.
- Question No.1: There are certain things in life that are inescapable: death, taxes and, in my case, being asked the question, “How tall are you?” Some people even forget to ask me for my name – all they are interested in is how much taller I am than their own diminutive selves. Even the few celebrities I’ve had the good fortune to meet have fallen into this trap – former Governor Surjit Singh Barnala, Cognizant CFO Gordon Coburn, and Tata Sons chairman Cyrus Mistry all popped the question. While I appreciate the acknowledgement, being confronted with it every time I meet a new person does start to get on your nerves. It may be hard for some to believe, but there is more to me than my imposing frame.
- The rancid jokes: Once introductions are made and the preliminary ice is broken, comes the next phase: being made the butt of ‘tall-people’ jokes. “Hey, how’s the weather up there?”, “Have you always had your head in the clouds?”, “How much Complan did you drink when you were a kid?” are some of the most common ones I’ve had to suffer through over the years – in three different languages. And while we’re at it, I’d like to quash any inkling of the notion that my height is a result brought about by a breakfast health-drink, once and for all – no, I did not drink Complan as a kid.
- Being a consumer: Sometimes I think airlines across the world conspired to develop seating standards with the express intent of punishing people like me for growing unabashedly tall – I am yet to travel in an airplane with enough leg-room for anyone over 6 feet in length. The injustice is only aggravated when I’m made the middle passenger in a three-seat troika – trust me, it’s the modern-day avatar of the erstwhile straitjacket. And it’s not just plane seats – climbing into and out of matchbox-sized cars, getting a haircut, even buying shoes can be a traumatic experience. I mean, how hard can it be for stores to stock one more size in 13, when they can hold everything from sizes 4 to 12?
- Using public transport: Yet another instance of gross disregard for the vertically-gifted. I’ve used metropolitan buses for local commute in 6 different cities, and banged my head in the roof of every single one of them. Couple the lack of head-space in buses with the preponderance of pot-holes on Indian roads, and the likelihood of a head injury for the big guy is all but certain.
Ok, rant over. If I’m being
completely honest with myself, I’d have to say being tall also has its fair
share of advantages too, some of which include:
·
The accompanying physical advantages - walking
faster, playing sports such as basketball and badminton etc.
·
Never having trouble getting spotted in a crowd –
my length enables me to be a veritable lighthouse in a sea of humanity.
·
Temple darshan
is never a problem with me – not unless enterprising fathers hoist their infant
children on to their shoulders and block my line of sight.
However, the most important
advantage that I believe has been bestowed upon me by virtue of my height was
aptly summed up by my 90 year old grandfather – self-confidence. So, I guess, I
have nothing to complain about after all.
